How to meet someone through friends in NYC (when your friends are all coupled up)

How do I ask friends to set me up?

Ask directly, and be specific. Tell two or three friends you trust that you’re looking for something serious, describe the kind of person you get along with in a sentence or two, and make it easy for them to say no. A specific ask produces far more introductions than “let me know if you know anyone.”

A script that works:

“I’m ready to meet someone properly. I get along with people who are [curious / close to their family / into the outdoors]. If anyone comes to mind, I’d love an intro — no pressure if not.”

When all your friends are coupled up

This is common in New York after your late twenties, and it’s less of a problem than it seems. Coupled friends are often the best matchmakers: they know their partner’s single friends, their coworkers, their siblings’ friends. Ask them to think one step out.

• Host a “bring a single friend” dinner. Six to eight people, each brings someone single. Low pressure, high yield.
• Say yes to group plans. Birthdays, housewarmings, game nights — anything that puts you near friends of friends.
• Be a connector yourself. Introduce your single friends to each other. People return the favor.

Widen the circle on purpose

Friends-of-friends networks grow when you show up to the same things repeatedly: a run club, a class, a volunteer shift. Our guide to meeting someone in NYC without dating apps has the scenes that work.

Bring a friend to a singles night

A singles event is easier with a friend, and it’s a set-up in reverse: you go together and both meet new people. At Nonna Nights each person gets their own private list of who in the room they match with, so you and your friend aren’t competing for the same people. See upcoming nights.

Create your free account, then send the link to the friend you’d bring.